A dramatic take on life :3
25.4.25
Haiiii :33 SO sry for abandoning my non-existent audience for over 20 days, but I'm back with a rant which im not sure how long will be. So, I'll just be yapping and yapping this whole time about the shitty people in my life
I CANT DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE omg I just got amazing news that I'll talk about in ten seconds
(finished writing: It was actually at the end)
So i was gonna be hanging out with my two bsfs, A and J, and A wanted to invite F. No problem, apart from the fact that maybe F is lowkey a rascist ass bitch. And he's one of A's friends and A's my bsf so I didn't wanna get in a fight about why he's the way I see him, right? For example, wednesday, yesterday and today when he came up to me at breaktime, he didn't say, "yo," or "whats up" "hey Vi!" or just "hey!", just "yo (n-word)"
He's 100% white
And it wasn't just a one time thing ever, he repeated it 7 times in like 20 seconds. I was like "you know that's a slur and you're not allowed to say it because you are white asf?"
"I don't care" okay well fuck you then.
Or also, today he was infront of the door to my classroom cz he had class here and was waiting for the other teacher to leave, when he told me to come there. What did he say? "You know bitches from MSI? Here's my version: (n-words) lo-" Stop RIGHT there. I just left and went on to tell my other 'friend' (she's also kinda an opp but a friend at the same time, a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 then) about it, since they also talk sometimes. But it's not really like a friend-way, it's like F sending weird ass voice messages and the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 replying with "WTF".
I told the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂, and then F yelled "I'M NOT RASCIST THO"
"YEAH SURE!" was what the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 replied, also cz she knows about the thing where he was like
"yo (n-word)".
So the thing is, I don't want to say anything to A cz she's my bsf and yk. J on the other hand, also doesn't really enjoy being with the guy. For his birthday, F got him a white Posca pen that if it was used for one stroke, it would already be finished. He said "here's your cum pen" since it was white, he also got a tissue "the cum tissue". So I don't think J really enjoys.
Next topic, I feel like nobody really likes me in my classroom. I mean like, the kids I usually hang out with apart from F, the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 and my 'mom' (me and F just call her mom because she's 2 years older than us, almost 3, and because she's like a father figure to me and mother to F). I sit down with the guys at lunch, normal, but sometimes I notice that I don't think they like me. I'm sitting on a table let's say, and next to me is an empty seat. Both left and right, before theres other people talking to their friends infront of them. I do make the guys sitting infront of me laugh with my ass humour, but sometimes I feel like it's just for making fun or I referenced some inside joke I don't know about.
On tuesday, we had a sub for science and he just let us do whatever, so I just went to the group as they were sitting on chairs around two tables, but I was already feeling sad for whatever reason, I was like "can I sit here?" I got a yes. "Are you sure you don't mind?"
"you're a boy after all, you can stay" Okay, please make out with me UH I MEANT that was unexpected as fuck but I was happy. Still, I worried for whatever reason. Maybe because of self-image, or however it's called.
Like, a few days ago I literally was sobbing my way through the night because of how people percieve me and how I just always get outed as trans when someone's like "Oh it's a he? I thought he was a girl, the name's feminine, but okay"
"oh no she's trans" I wish three car crashes on you, you aren't able to travel to see your family anymore and suddenly everyone hates you.
Screenshots time because I have to prove it!!!
Beginning of the debate or whatever that was, mind you, this is the first message I read in the morning, and whenever I see myself being mentioned when I haven't spoken in the gc at all I get scared as fuck. I physically felt my hear drop to my ass, I'm not joking. But this was J typing, and no, I don't care if the name I saved him as is shown, idgaf
btw the scribbled parts were offtopic stuff like asking what city of Cabo Verde some guy was in
We had a gc where only the admins could sned msgs (the guy) and he would send updates, polls and shit and so while it was like 7 in the morning I was faced with this wonderful poll made by him (hope he experiences a danganronpa excecution) (the thing is, it's not even only that taht he's said to me, there's more I don't wanna share)
Oh, and the news I said I was happy about; F said he wouldn't be able to make it to the hangout tomorrow in the mall near my house. Life is good ❤️
And the teachers, OH MY GOD it's like they've all decided to team up and be complete assholes this semester, and I don't even wanna talk about it but it's crazy. Next week on monday; a presentation + deadline for my journalism article, tuesday; History test (5% of grade), Wednesday; French test (50%), and math (25%), monday after; 2 presentations, german test (50%), and on Friday English test (25%) + Luxembourgish grammer test, and there is more to be announced in the meanwhile. Mind you, this is also just most of presentations and test we gotta do, excluding homework.
Enough pictures now.
Have you guys also seen the shocki shocki girl on tt? I literally memorized it on accident because I saw her doing it so much
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