A dramatic take on life :3

27.2.26

Hihi oh my fucking god, it's almost already the end of the month?!?!?!11?!'?!?1'11'?

I just remembered that last time I saw Z, I was never able to tell her how I feel, and when I was at the peak of love for her, I then never saw her again. Which I feel really shitty of, because she was my first love. I still remember how she looked like when she was in fourth grade, but years and years have passed since that. We are both much older now...

Which could apply to Leon too. Last time we physically saw eachother was June 27th of last year. It's been exactly 8 months since that. I feel like shit. I also found out my psychiatrist knows about Leon, but I'll write about that later.

BUT about that comment about Z, FEAR NOT!!! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?? 

Tomorrow, my school is hosting it's 10th year anniversary party. The whole school can attend, while it's obligatory for students in the secondary section (like me) to attend, do atleast one activity and stay for THREE hours!! And they're gonna monitor you. So basically, tomorrow over three thousand people are going to gather together at the school in the town near mine. Which means, Z is going to be there!! 

Because get this! My school has two campuses, and I go to the first but least mentioned one. The one where all the cool parties are hosted, events, and where 60% of students are is the other campus. And tomorrow the festival is going to happen there. There's also going to be a disco from 7pm to 11pm which I didn't get tickets when they were selling them Tuesday-Thrusday (I was absent Thrusday and today, I'm sick) but J told me you can buy them tomorrow as well. My whole class is going, and hundreds of other students aswell. I think it's going to be fun, but I can never hope too much for school-organised parties. 

Sooo... I guess I'll write after I'm done with how it went :3 

 A dramatic take on life :3

22.2.26

OKAAAY HI AGAIN!!!! It's 2026 now... holy shit... (I know I said this before) 

Back in like August I made something like 'EMERGENCY POST'... And I never provided further context for it. I feel like I should write about it now, finally. So much has happened since. 

So we all remember Leon? Yeah, we are friends again. Obviously, but you guys should've seen all that shit. Some time around August, like 3 days before my computer got K.O'ed, I was still up at 2 am and had the crashout of the century. I ended up writing like five paragraphs worth of apologies to Leon.

Actually, let me try to find those messages, but warning because I was being so unbeliveably cringe and while I'm thankful for being friends again, I think those msgs were very cringe. 

"I feel like shit writing this, lol. Not because of you, honestly.

But I sort of hope you blocked me, or this whole message would probably just ruin your day. Or night, idk when you're gonna be reading this. I know you didn't block me yet, but I feel like after this you will. And I'm probably making a fool of myself now. I'll probably regret this in the morning, since I'm half awake rn and not thinking well. Since I don't know what I'm writing this for and I don't want to ruin anything even more than it already has been. All these messages could be pointless...

Ur bf seems nice from what I've seen, you guys are good together. (yes ik I included the bf where it wasn't necessary :cry:)

There really is no need to open the message, you can just ignore this, like I did for the past two months until today to yours. Like the bitch I am. And no, I'm not saying this to make anyone feel sorry, it's just the truth. And not only because of this situation. 

Honestly, I haven't moved on at all. I think... I needed time to figure out how I was feeling. But I don't need to go into details why, how and other. However my actions were and are still stupid.

I also finally understood what people meant when they say that suicide hotlines are useless. I tried calling one on the 4th June, for you, when people were worrying about you commiting. They didn't help, they just gave me another number which I was left on hold for hours. I also tried getting REDACTED

To call but he never answered the message.

This can't really be categorized as an apology, although I really do feel the need to do so. Though I don't know how. Just saying sorry to show so? Not enough. Random actions? It's just kind of creepy, depending on which actions we're talking about. Especially considering the fact that we haven't interacted since June 27th. So I really don't know what to do. Saying sorry a lot? That's not gonna help."

I WANT TO KILL MYSELF why couldn't I apologise like a normal person saying like "hey I'm sorry for everything, blah blah blah can we be friends again?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

We talked occasionally for a day after that. The next time we talked was the day after my birthday (16th of December). He wished me a late happy birthday, and, since a long time passed since last time we talked, I had more time to figure out how I felt and shit. I guess I was really giddy when I got that message from him. I was home with a fever... Which later developed into the chicken pox. So technically, I had three weeks of Christmas vacations. Apparently, my dad said it was very serious.

Like, I had a fever of 39degrees and it would not go down, no matter how much medicine I took.

ANYWAYS, back to Leon, him and his bf ended up breaking up a while ago. I already figured it out during the same week they broke up, but only yestreday did Leon give me a bit more context. I stalked his instagram a lot okay...And so I noticed stuff and cryptic posts, and pretty much figured out they were done. 

Leon posted on his story that he might go to Mikuexpo in the future, and I got so excited because I also might!!! Same city, too!! So I replied, we talked for a couple seconds. We spammed a couple stickers after, and moved on to whatsapp to spam there instead.

I sent a dumbass durr sticker and this GUY replies with a message saying his ex bf left him FOR HIS BESTFRIEND???? I was like, wtf...

THEN for some fucking reason we talk about how to cook crack. Very nice, #CrackAtHome I guess. I learned something from it, atleast? So then we sent a couple more stickers and eventually the convo died out. Until he randomly texts me like 20 minutes later saying he has to go to sleep and I said 'same lol,' but in my head I was like brah I don't give a fuck (I DOOOO) the conversation died 20 minutes ago.

 I finished writing this post on 23.2.26 but no one gaf bro okay but it was only like two paragraphs...

Being cringe and depressed idgaf

           A dramatic take on life :3

4.1.26

I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again I Want To Cut Myself Again 

Holy shit I MIGHT be fucked up

Updated intro #3

 A dramatic take on life :3

4.1.26

it's, once again, the time of the year where I do my intro!! Next month will be my second year posting here... Woah... I actually can't believe that 2024 was TWO years ago, 2023 THREE years ago and 2022 FOUR?? So my main Tikyok account will turn 4 this year, holy shit. 

Anyways, let's get on with the intro!! (Also yes I'm just copying and pasting my 2nd intro but changing some info becoz I'm lazy as FUCCKKKK)

My name is Viatore, but you can call me Vi!   

This is gonna be my 3rd introduction, two years after my 1st one!

 Im gonna write about my day whenever I have the motivation/remember to, usually during the first half of the year. sometimes about how I feel, or random shitposts

Here's a little ab me:

 ♡ I spend more time daydreaming about a dream life than living it ♡

 ♡ I go by He/Him/His, I'm trans, gay and I don't mind people using neopronouns for fun! ♡

♡ Im swiss, Italian and got the Luxembourgish nationality in 2024! ♡

♡ I can speak Italian, German, Luxembourgish, English, French and Swedish! I can also understand Spanish, Portoguese + some Dutch. I can read the cyrillic alphabet, the greek, hiragana, katakana and some kanji despite never actually wanting to learn the Slavic languages, Greek and Japanese. ♡

♡ My fav artists/bands/producers are Omar Rudberg, Babymetal, Plastic Tree, Iyowa, mothy, Shazna and Kairiki Bear! ♡

♡ I love writing stories, especially fanfiction. But I'm a pussy and actually afraid of the ao3 author's curse, so I dunno. I really love dancing, but I can't participate in courses rn since I'm really tired. ♡

♡ My fav games are Roblox, Project Sekai, Needy Streamer Overload, DRAMAtical Murder, Osu! Doki Doki Literature club, SpeakForYou, Project DIVA Megamix, and Class Of '09 games (not the flipside tho)  ♡

♡  My fav apps/websites are Tiktok, Discord, (illegal) anime sites and manga sites, Pinterest ♡

♡ I love Yamikawaii/Vkei/Jirai kei/Gyaru styles  (And i say 'sorry' way too many times) ♡

♡ And I dress Jirai myself, I find the style so cute!! And a menhera :sad: ♡

I also have other socials ofc: (these r the ones I remember)

My tiktok >.<

Soundcloud <3

SpaceHey -.-

Roblox xp 

Pinter3st

Twitter!!

 A dramatic take on life :3

11.9.25 

Hellooooo sorry for lack of updates recently :<<< I'm typing this on the family pc while my brother is behind me playing loud as fuk, because my laptop got a virus like 2 days after I made my last post and I only managed to get back into my account today loves. I don't really wanna talk about it since it was a really messy thing.  

Anyways I came on here to say NEVER open Twitter as your first social media when you wake up!! There could be any, and I mean ANY sort of news when you wake up. Like, Charlie Kirk just fucking died and I saw the WHOLE video uncensored because I didn't know what was going on and thought it would be at least blurred. But No 💕💕

To make everything, now my classmate ALSO sent me a screenshot of the vid while I was talking about it. Because yes, while I'm writing, I'm also texting on my phone a groupchat I made. It's called 'Virtual Fortress Of Solitude' and there's 4 members— me, my bestfriend, that guy who sent me the pic, Greek Swear Word (her nickname is a greek swear), and the newest member — Acne (her name sounds like that. Her and Greek Swear used to like eachother but I think Acne got bullied out of it and Greek Swear 'turned to Jesus'. But back to the group, I made it to yap about the drama in my life because there's so much. Wasn't my idea either — it was Greek Swear's. So yes, a groupchat dedicated to my life, how cute <3

I saw the video, and I was very shocked, and I thought the video was fake the first 2 secs because there was so much blood, I didn't think it was physically possible to release that much blood when shot. I hated every second of that I saw.

He's definitely dead now. In the neck, on the same side as his heart (most likely). Holy shit. 

And it's the fact that Twitter didn't even censor it for me. Like, I get asked to verify my age for a picture of a comment under a video of a guy shirtless (this acc happened) but I didn't get a warning for a graphic ass video of a famous guy literally getting shot and dying. Oh?? OH????

I feel bad for everyone there who shouldn't have seen all that shit. 

Talk about more positive stuff, yea? Only yesterday did I realise how good Malice Mizer's songs we're. Like holy shit, I've sat here writing this post while Ma chérie has been blasting in my ears. Heaven!! And I just found out Airbuds is also available on android, and my dumbass thought it was only for apple. What???

I'll maybe make another post about recently, but I doubt. Writer's block has been kicking me in the ass, especially when it comes to writing stories, instead of about my life. 

WE ARE SO BACK

 A dramatic take on life :3

16.8.25 

EMERGENCY POST WE ARE SO BACK ME AND HIM ARE FRIENDS AGAIN HELL YEA

I think sometimes I'm evil but the 'I'm reminding u of me' type instead of the 'I'll destroy your life'

  A dramatic take on life :3

22.7.25 

Caption is what I'm gonna say. 

So, today, me and my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂  hung out at the mall cz they going thru stuff so they wanted 2 forget. They're those people who are basic af and you have no idea how you're friends cz ur polar opposites. They LOVE Spanchat, I open it once every 2 years if you're lucky. Anyways, they took a picture of their redbull and my monster that we had bought earlier, tagged me and sent it to some people. I see the guy my last 2 posts were about, we're gonna call him Leon. It's not even close to his name, but whatever.

I wait for 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂  to scroll past his user when adding people they'll send the picture to, and I jokingly said "Him especially!!" but then 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 actually sent it to him... Then Leon asked like "tf..?" idk and I made up a whole excuse pretending to be the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂. This is a short memory of how the conversation went 

*Snap* 

LEON!!: 
??

You: Shiii sry

You: Sent 2 the wrong person

You: It was 4 a streak

Leon!!: Mhm

Leon!!: Idc

Leon!!: I got over him anyway, I have a bf now.

Oh, and I forgot, this is where it gets interesting: I found info on his bf, all I could possibly take from the internet. His name starts with A (I'm not gonna say all lmao), he has brown hair, his fav animal is a bunny, his fav colour is green (if I remeber), he plays guitar, he's a digital artist, he joined insta in Sept 2024, idk his age, and more I prob forgot about, oh and they've been dating since the 17th.

You: His name is A(REDACTED)? 

Leon!!: Yea

Best thing - he didn't even question how 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 knew his bf's name. Just "oh okay".

This isn't even the first time we've done smth like this. A few weeks ago, there was this party next to the mall we sent those messages to. All was closed since it was like midnight but it's alr, we fucked around anyway. Then they were recording some dance, and was gonna send it to like 10+ people (including Leon), so at around half the end of the video, I slightly came in frame as if I wanted to show 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓶𝔂 smth on my phone, then left. He didn't say anything to reply. Idk if he did, but yea.

We keep doing this typa shit, it's funny but also... Idk how to feel about it. But who cares??? He made me a bad mentally when I already was low, so???