11.2.24
Okay so before you read this, just know that I may be SUPER high. And this is going to be a whole ass post on random things about my massive crush.
I would recommend that u think of the song 'Forever' or 'Black Hair' both by Alex G. (or even listen to them, honestly).
OKay so today at about 6:30pm I see my friend playing (or, my Crushhhh ♥) parkour which is a game my classmate leo, and probably boy-bestfriend told me about. So when I see my crush playing it (let's call her Ali since that's the name i'm gonna give my cat. No, I dont want kids, and no, her name doesn't start with T. It starts with Z) I obviously join her to say hi. For a second I hesitate wondering if this is even a good idea since if you know me irl im introverted as fuck, and socially awkward. I never really think people care more online, so thats why I made a blog. Apparently people online care about others more.
Anyways, I do finally join her while putting on the most random ass songs like first I put 'Catch me if you can' by BABYMETAL which I think you can tell is a bit like a metal song. Then I end up putting 'Hollywood' by MARINA and then I find myself playing 'Ballad Of A Homeschooled Girl' by Olivia Rodrigo. I ended up putting Training Wheels after 'A.O.A.H.G' (the Olivia Rodrigo song) on repeat the whole time which actually made me cry just a little bit since it reminded me of almost every crush I've ever had and If i still like them or I forced myself to like them or if they even think about me.
As I'm writing this im still listening to Training Wheels and my brother is going around my room trying to destroy everything and annoy me by saying that Training Wheels and Carousel on repeat is pissing him off.
I try to search for her for atleast 30 minutes before I give up and just go wherever I wanna and I find myself infront of her but she was afk sadly. I waited and waited for 8 minutes and she still wasn't moving. Tori, if you're going afk for this long u can atleast mayb leave the game?? Oh well, doesnt matter.
I stay afk for atleast 20 minutes before I get kicked for being afk 4 too long even though I was thinking about all the lovely things me and Tori could do if she liked me back but It is conformed she's straight. She told us in a snap gc I added her in a few months ago, I think it was like may 2023 and we havent talked in the gc since september but last time we talked together was the 8th of this month about Carnival since we dont go to the same school anymore as she moved schools this year and is now 30 minutes away. I miss seeing her at school so much.
The type of relationship I want is like a cute and cuddly one since im asexual and it just makes me so happy seeing all those wlw/mlm couples together taking cute pics together like the ones u see on pinterest (plz tell me you understand what im saying)
I always want to be the younger one in the realtionship, like, the shorter one, k what I mean? But what happend? I am the younger one (by 10 moths and 14 days) but guess what? Whoever created me decided to make me tall as fuck. So now i'm 11-14 yrs old and almost 170cm fucking tall. So like 30cm taller than her. So im like a whole head taller than my classmates so that makes me the tallest one in my maths, english, science, German and pe class.
OKay this might not be very healthy since I think about her every day, but I've had a crush on Tori since like 5th grade. So its been YEARS.
Annnnnd now my brother just asked me to put 'Angel Of Darkness' and I have never put on a song quicker in my whole life since he's slowly becoming mini-me and I'm not doing anything which makes me feel like a proud mom, even tho, as I said before I dont want kids.
The thing I love most about her has to be her energy irl. Like we could be talking about the most depressing shit going on in my life and she can always make it better by even texting me a SINGLE WORD.
What if my classmates find my blog and my story blog?? I'd be fucked. (my other blog is Deviltown story) and oh my god for some reason she is like, the best, cutest and most adorable person I have met in my life. Her voice is like the girls with a cute annoying voice which slightly annoys me but I still love her..
In the end, yes, I'm still not over my first lesbian crush. bye :3
Today was boring as fuck.
(Edited: 23.5.24, 20:53)
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