A dramatic take on life :3
15.2.25
I'll be in Milan on the 18th to see Omar, and I'm so fucking excited! I'll be driving there for 8 hours, which is great because I love long car rides. And because I'm going to Milan for the first time in my whole LIFE!! And i'll also see him in Cologne on the 24th, but I'll talk ab Milan now.
"Why are you driving all the way there, you could go to Cologne only since it's the closest" My family were already planning to go to Italy, and I found out he's gonna preform there so I'm like,
"damn, I really wanna go, I'd also be able to meet other fans that I can speak in my native language with! That's so cool!" People act as if it's some super-shocking thing that I've never been to any of the major cities in Italy like Milan, Rome, Florence, etc... and that the only one I've been to is Pescara because I'm from there.
I'm listening to Pull Up as I'm writing this, I love this song, especially when it's like near the end of the song and you hear more singing under the actual song. I have no idea how to describe it, but it so fun listening to it. It's so underrated too. I mean, a ton of his songs are. But that'll change.
But I'm also kinda STRESSED because I'm leaving on Monday and I've *barely* packed. No, I haven't packed at all, yet even have an outfit.
Today I was also supposed to hang out with my bestfriend and another friend but my bsf said to postpone it to next week so we have more time. Guess what? I'll be in Cologne next week, so no ❤️ And my other friend was already at the mall when my bsf decided next week, so he was kinda pissed, and I was sad. Why? My bsf moved schools and because her school and home is in the city, 20 minutes away, we barely get to see eachother. Plus, her parents are strict asf and I don't know if they like me 100% at this point.
(Writing this after the rant you're about to read; This is just me yapping about my brother, you can skip if you want. I'll put the text in a diff color so you know when I stop ranting)
My mom could tell I was sad, so she brought me to get some Ice cream hoping it'd make me feel better, but ofcourse my brother had to try to make everything about him again. Like, on the bus, we were standing up holding ourselves using the like, polls? I dunno what they're called, but then he started swinging around them and not staying in place, almost bumping into multiple people and overall being very loud and rude when answering my mom. Here's something he's actually said;
"Just because you're 50 and don't know how to have fun doesn't mean that I'm not allowed!" Like fuck you, that's your MOTHER. She calmly kept trying to tell him to stay in one place, that it's disrespectful. Because you obviously can't go swinging yourself around a poll on a bus. But nobody ever seems to understand my pov when explaining this. Also when we arrived there, he just lay on the floor with no explanation in the middle of an empty, flat place right next to the mall. It's dirty on there, why?!?!?
Then, we were in the mall. We had just entered to take ice cream, buy some things we needed and leave. No, he decided he wanted to go visit every fucking store. I just waited outside, even if it was a store I liked, like Claire's because I cannot stand being in the same room as him. He then leaves Claire's, and when I'm distracted on my phone at one point, he just takes the lollipop I had in my mouth and throws it in the trash can close to where I was sitting. Mamma just told me to stop being so dirstracted and they moved on. The fuck did I do to him?
We did get Ice-cream, and when we sat down he sat in another place then where me and my mom were sitting and tried to say that we did something wrong or some shit, causing another scene. We then went to Mediamarkt, because free will exists. I was looking at the vinyls while my brother kept trying to convince mamma to buy an ender-dragon plushie that was 35 EURO! But of course, because he's little and 'only' 10 years old and he's been 'so good' so she bought it.
Something about him annoys me so much. And there will be no "oh but he's only 10 years old!" Because I don't really care, he insane. Though sometimes even if he says Mean stuff to me, I don't really care anymore because I'm so used to it.
"You're an ugly fat bitch" I'm pretty underweight but okay if you say so.
Like, my parents know about the fact that I've been at my lowest since like December 2023, and they brought me to 1 therapy session in January 2024. The guy said I'm completely fine and that it was just a 'shock'. Yeah, and you don't think about the fact that I might've lied about the amount of times I've harmed myself? Obviously I'm not gonna trust some random stranger about these things. Then I got told that he wasn't a good therapist and that I need to see a better one.
I never got to see a new one, thank fuck.
Okay but IM SO EXCITED (there's a link because it's a reference so y not) FOR THE CONCERT(S)!!! I'm gonna go to both with my mom because I'm not old enough to be in big cities all alone at like 9pm :cry:
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